No Dress Rehearsal

To say I’m getting mixed messages is an understatement. Mrs. NDR’s mood goes from snippy and mean-spirited to a place somewhere in the vicinity of normal. All I can say is SIGH! Here’s the weekend rundown: Friday night, due to my ongoing sleep problems, I went to bed actually at 3:30 am on Saturday morning. Saturday, I got up around 9 and in the morning I drove about 20 miles to a relative’s house in order to pick up a Christmas present that had been left there for us. I had lunch with the relative and came back to get ready for our “date.” For our date, we took mass transit into town. Our plan was to have dinner and go to a comedy show. Unfortunately, the wife has her period and when she does she gets sick to her stomach easily. So, several trips to the bathroom later, we were in transit back home. The evening was salvaged, somewhat, by renting a video. We rented a silly comedy — Wedding Crashers — we were trying to keep it light and airy. It was an OK night, but she talked more than once about going out with her friends next week, so again not emotionally present.

I just don’t know what to think.

And to address the observation that I am being a ‘nattering nabob of negativity,’ my negativity about my relationship comes from her emotional absence combined with the bouts of snippiness and shortness… it’s not easy to believe that she wants to continue to be married to me under those circumstances. And quite frankly, this damage that is being done to our relationship is going to make it harder for us to become whole if she does decide that she can stay with me. Moreover, it’s either going to be painful analysis of why Mrs. NDR doesn’t want to be with me, followed by a divorce, or painful analysis followed by painful “rehab.” Either way, we’re looking at a lot of pain and hard work. Lucky me.

That’s about it. Sunday (today) I saw my friend and his lady friend as they came through town on their way for some skiing in Vermont. He tried to get me to ditch work and come, but with all these (unpaid as a temp) holidays recently, I definitely couldn’t afford to be out. It was nice though to have breakfast with them and shoot the shit for an hour. Pancakes were good, scrapple was burned. But there’s no such thing as bad scrapple, so there you go. Then, I went to by tires. I have a confession: I bought them at Wal Mart. I can’t afford to go elsewhere. That’s my goal in life — to have enough money to not shop there. They are pretty good BF Goodriches. I wasn’t going to go with the Douglas piece-o-crap tire, but couldn’t spend the $80+ per tire on the Goodyear American Eagle.

OK, time to try to sleep, so that I can function at work tomorrow.